Limited Liability Partnership
It is with the most profound punctuation, and personal pride that I now have the pleasure of announcing to you the signing and formation of a new Limited Liability Partnership between myself, Dz, and the newest member of the Dz Rant community - Jack S. Rage. Jack is now a free lance associate to the Rant, who has been contracted for his vigorous vulgarity, spiritual supervision, and cognitive manipulation. Look for Jack S. Rage to make his debut from behind the red curtain in an upcoming blog. In the meantime, here is the draft of our mission statement.
First and only Premise - To start things off, let it be known that there are two buttons on your computer. One turns the monitor off, and the other shuts off the power to your computer completely! Imagine that - you can actually turn your computer on or off, and if need be, you can even get up out of your seat and leave the room. Then of course, there is your friendly neighborhood web browser that enables you to surf through the ethereal waters of the world wide web. And have you ever noticed the two buttons on your web browser as well? One takes you backward, and the other takes you all the way home! Imagine that - you can actually direct the content, direction, and destination of your viewing material! So consider this the disclaimer portion of our statement. If you get flustered easily; have a hard time dealing with truth, reason, and reality; are prone to mind control or weakness; faint easily and without warning; are allergic to literary excellence and the occasional limerick; enjoy comfort, tranquility, and potpourri shops; or if you are one of those people that needs a little space - then please, Go the Fuck Outside!
Because Dz and Jack S. Rage have several rules we live by. First of all, we don't believe in Anything. We don't believe in organized, unorganized, or partially organized religion. We don't believe in love at first sight. We don't believe in the golden rule, which seems to have tarnished to a sepia brown hue last I checked. We don't believe in innocence or innocent victims - If you were born on this planet you're guilty. Period. End of Story. Fuck you. Next Question. We don't believe in all this patriarchal bullshit about American flags, church crosses, and red ribbons. We see them as nothing more than symbols, and we leave symbols to the "symbol" minded. We have listened to all these people comment on political, social, and cultural issues for so long now, and we have noticed that most of their material reflects the underlying belief that somehow things were better in the past, and with only a little effort on our part, we could set them straight again. They're looking for solutions, and rooting for particular results, and we think, by our definition, that limits the scope, tone, and substance of what they have to say. They are simply nothing more than cultural cheer leaders attached to a specific wished-for outcome. We, on the other hand, don't feel that confined. Frankly, we don't give a fuck how it all turns out in this country - or anywhere for that matter. The human game was up a long time ago when the high priests and traders took over, and now we're just playing out the string of a closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary culdesac. And that is precisely what we find so amusing - the slow circling of the drain by a once promising species, and the sappy, ever-more-desperate belief in this country that there is actually some sort of "American dream" which has simply been misplaced. The decay and disinegration of our culture is astonishingly amusing if you remain emotionally detached from it as we have here at the Dz Rant. Jack S. Rage and I have always viewed mainstream culture from a distance, knowing that we don't belong; it doesn't include us; it never has; never will; not one. No matter how you care to define it, we do not associate with the local group. Solar system, planet, species, race, religion, creed, nation, state, party, union, club, clan, association, band, or neighborhood improvement committee - we have no interest in any of it. We love and treasure the individuals as we meet them, we loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to. So, if you happen upon something in the Rant that sounds like advocacy of a particular political or social point of view, please reject that notion. Our interest in "issues" and topical events merely serve to point out how badly we are doing, not to suggest how we might opt to do it better. Please don't confuse us with those who cling to hope. Fuck hope. We thoroughly enjoy describing things as they are, and we have no interest in fixing any of them. We sincerely believe that if you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem. Lest you wonder, personally we are happy, joyful individuals with a close nit community of loving family and friends that surround us. Our lives and literature have turned out better than we could have ever dreamed, and they continue to grow and expand in ever-changing mediums. What may sound like ferocious hate or anger is really nothing more than sympathetic contempt for our dear and hateful species, our lives, and the world that we live in. We view our species with a combination of wonder and pity, and we root for it's demise and inevitable destruction. And please don't confuse our point of views with cynicism - the "real" cynics are the ones who tell you everything's gonna be alright. And if by some off chance you folks do managed to straighten things out and make everything better, we still do not wish to be included.
Very Truly Yours,
DIZZYROMANCE & JACK S. RAGE
"We are Rant. We are Rage. We are Here."