Mouse Trap
Waking up to a dead laptop is not my idea of a good breakfast. So my day begun by looking online for a replacement machine. I've been fairly happy with my choice picks of Dell laptops so I began there. I built up my fabulous 17" Vostro, jacked the ram, jacked the hard drive, and carted the beauty. Score. Or not.
Because that's when things got bizarre. As I got online and started my shopping, I went looking for a laptop. Nothing more and nothing less. Dell on the other hand thought to entertain me by adding a non-removable optical mouse to my cart. A nice gesture, sure, but my shopping list didn't include a mouse. And charging me $28 for something I didn't want was, and still remains, bullshit.
After repeated attempts in different browsers using different laptop configs, it was clear that if I wanted my new Dell laptop I was going to have to buy their silly bundled mouse at $28. Clearly I must be doing something wrong, there must be a sane rational conclusion to this.
So I get online with the friendly little online dell chat specialist who runs me through the typical friendly little online dell chat specialist spiel.
"Hi drew, Thanks for choosing dell today, yadda yadda insert bull crap, how can I help you today?"
"Yeah, hi, I'm trying to purchase a new vostro laptop online but there appears to be some kind of browser bug or error as I'm encountering an issue with dell adding a $28 mouse to my cart. I don't want this mouse and I'm not able to remove it from my cart. any help would be appreciated."
We exchange a bunch of information at this point, model numbers, links, config settings, etc. This does not resolve the problem, primarily because the problem isn't a problem in their eyes. Come to find out it's all a part of the dell bundle. Buy a vostro and get a mouse included. A great deal on a great optical mouse! Translation, listen up consumer asshole, you're going to bend over and grab your ankles while we service this account and tag on an additional $28 charge for this non-negotiable mouse.
We continue a few mindless banters until she pips in and says
"Yes I understand sir, but this is a very nice mouse, it's over an $80 value for only $28."
"Ah. Ok. Wonderful. So you're giving me a great deal on something I don't want. How kind. Look I appreciate your kindness and I know you're just doing your job but isn't there something you can do for me, like let me buy my new computer and give you a bunch of my money without having to buy a mouse that I don't need and don't want?"
"No sir, I'm sorry. That's included in the bundle. There's nothing I can do. I'm sorry."
And all is well that ends well. Because dell got none of my money, drew got no bloody damn mouse he didn't want, and my blog gets a much needed post. Drew with a triple word score. Suck it dell.